


Banana

by albinosilver



Category: Unlisted
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:13:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7322002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/albinosilver/pseuds/albinosilver





	Banana

"You look absolutely ridiculous." Hanzo barely looked up as he loaded individual arrows neatly into his quiver. 

"You mean handsome." Jesse corrected, a huge grin on his face, unseen underneath his scarf. The cowboy was wearing a bright yellow vest over his dress shirt, with matching pants and hat. An equally yellow cape was clasped across his chest to tie the whole outfit together.

"That is definitely not mission approved attire." Hanzo shook his head. "I can see you from a mile away."

"Maybe that's what I wanted." 

Hanzo realized that the taller man was now standing uncomfortably close and put up a hand in between them to distance the two. "Don't be brash." He said simply and continued polishing the bow on his lap with his free hand. 

"Aw darlin', you wound me." Jesse pouted and slouched back in feigned sadness. 

"What I'm saying is," Hanzo finally set aside his weapon and stood up. "You will be an easy target for enemy snipers."

"You're worried about me?" Jesse pressed but left no time for a reply. 

Hanzo sighed as he was pulled into an embrace, not bothering to resist this time around. 

\---

At the airport, Jesse met up with his mission partner, another equally charming, banana McCree. They exchanged "hello"s and gestured to each other with their signature finger point. Hanzo stood aside silently, unsure of what strange American custom he was witnessing.

The three were soon on their way to LiJiang Tower for a night mission. 

\---

Jesse lead the attack on the flank. It was risky to have half their team there, but they would make it count. 

An overconfident Reaper was the first to walk into them, shotguns out, firing wildly. He was immediately confronted with a flashbang to the face. 

"Hah! You're nothing after the nerf!" Reaper exclaimed as he prepared to use his wraith form to get away. However, he had not anticipated for the backup McCree.

He was landed with a second flashbang and swiftly dealt with.

From there on out, every enemy they encountered was no match for their headshotting potential. Whether it be from the pair of peacekeepers or one of Hanzo's arrows, at least a few shots would hit. The trio made quick work of the flank and snuck up on the rest of the enemies from behind.

\---

Somewhere in respawn, Reaper sobbed into the front of Soldier 76's jacket. "They're bullying me!" he cried loudly. Soldier 76 stroked the back of Reaper's hood and consoled him with some encouraging words.

\---

"I'm your huckleberry." Jesse said while crouched on the point. There was some downtime as the enemy team was regrouping and he liked spending this time very casually.

"I'm _your_ huckleberry." The other McCree mirrored him perfectly.

The rest of the team laughed. All except Hanzo, who was incredibly jealous of their connection, but also upright refused to participate in such foolish antics.

Suddenly, both McCrees got up in sync as if remembering something. "Well now, would you look at the time." one said. The other seemed to immediately know where this was going. 

"It's 10:45PM." Hanzo might have been just a bit out of it.

Jesse stepped off the point just as the enemies approached. He did a combat roll, which quickly put him a safe distance away. His partner did the same in an opposite direction. Hanzo disagreed with their decision, but more importantly, wasn't sure who to follow. He opted to stay on the point with his remaining teammates.

\---

Hanzo retreated from a losing battle. The 4v6 had unsurprisingly not worked out in their favour. He grabbed a nearby health pack and fired a sonic arrow onto the point to survey the situation. _The entire enemy team was there._

That's when he saw them. _Tumbleweeds.._ He blinked. _In a Chinese metropolis?_ Then he heard the familiar voice.

"It's high noon."

They saw one or they saw the other, but they didn't see both. Either way, there was no time to react. The two banana McCrees surrounded the point from either side. They fanned the hammer on their revolvers, taking out the enemies within seconds.

 _It's the middle of the night._ Hanzo questioned the mental health of his friends as he ran up to join them in securing the win.

\---

"...had no idea what hit 'em." Jesse smirked. 

"You've already told this story five times." Hanzo rolled his eyes as he put his bow back into its case. 

"Well I got others. Like one time I-" Jesse was about to continue before he was cut off.

"I think I'm going to go to bed." Hanzo turned to leave.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Jesse was usually oblivious to the feelings of others, but even he could tell that Hanzo wasn't having a good time.

"Nothing."

"Y'sure?" Jesse put a hand on Hanzo's shoulder to keep him from leaving.

"I'm sure." Hanzo brushed him off and disappeared to the other room, leaving the concerned cowboy alone to wonder what he did wrong. 

\---

"I got this for you." 

The two hadn't talked for nearly a week. They had spent most of their days on their own separate missions and Hanzo was giving Jesse the silent treatment back at base.

Hanzo looked down at the present in front of him. The wrapping was yellow with stripes. _Of course._ It was messily cut and taped, edges of paper sticking out on all sides. Hanzo could tell that Jesse had wrapped this himself. 

He almost wanted to not open it, but the sight of the cowboy staring at him with such anticipation was too much to ignore. 

Hanzo carefully peeled off the tape and unfolded the wrapping paper. 

It was an article of clothing, disgustingly yellow in colour. _Is this some kind of joke?_ He wanted to just get up and leave right then and there. Hanzo lifted up the fabric in his hands. _It was a kimono._ The kimono fell open to reveal a hand-stitched dragon design on one shoulder. _The symbol of his clan._ Hanzo was taken aback, his mouth slightly open in surprise. _A lot of thought was clearly put into this gift, but why yellow?_

"Been thinking you were feeling a bit left out." Jesse smiled softly.

\---

Their next mission together brought them to Numbani, where they set up to defend a payload. The entire team was now in on the new fashion trend and they were all completely decked out in yellow. _If everyone's an easy target that makes no one an easy target, right?_

This mission was to be more difficult than LiJiang tower. The other team had a Reinhardt on the cart, making it very hard to snipe at a distance. A Roadhog had plopped himself down just behind the barrier, reeling in free kills with his hook and dealing absurd damage to anyone who got close. 

_pls nerf_

To make it all worse, there was also an extremely edgy Genji named bl1nd3dn1nja69 who was constantly cutting people with his 10 foot sword. 

In the final seconds, it was looking to be an easy win for enemy team. They were all chilling on top of the payload as it pulled up into its destination.

"You got your Dragonstrike?" Jesse suggested.

Hanzo shrugged. "They'll all just jump off the cart the moment they hear it." 

"Better than nothin’." Jesse ordered the team off into their positions. "Plus I have a plan."

"Ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau!" Hanzo fired off the arrow which sent twin dragons spiraling towards the payload.

The enemy Reinhardt dropped his shield to get away, a costly mistake. The banana McCrees caught him and the rest of their team with a flashbang, the brief stun buying ample time for the dragons to close in. Hanzo picked off the stragglers with spare arrows. It was a team kill.

As the final seconds of overtime expired, the banana trio had a three-way high five.


End file.
